The sick and twisted "values" of Michelle Bachmann

Some people, somewhere, may be asking: Just how crazy is Michelle Bachmann?

This crazy:

In April 2005, Pamela Arnold wanted to talk to her state senator, Michele Bachmann, who was then running for Congress. A 46-year-old who worked at the Minneapolis College of Art and Design, Arnold lived with her partner, the famed Arctic explorer Ann Bancroft, on a farm in Scandia, Minnesota. Bachmann was then leading the fight against gay marriage in the state. She'd recently been in the news for hiding in the bushes to observe a gay-rights rally at the Capitol. So when members of the Scandia gay community decided to attend one of Bachmann's constituent forums, Arnold, wanting to make herself visible to her representative, joined them.

A few dozen people showed up at the town hall for the April 9 event, and Bachmann greeted them warmly. But when, during the question and answer session, the topic turned to same-sex marriage, Bachmann ended the meeting 20 minutes early and rushed to the bathroom. Hoping to speak to her, Arnold and another middle-aged woman, a former nun, followed her. As Bachmann washed her hands and Arnold looked on, the ex-nun tried to talk to her about theology. Suddenly, after less than a minute, Bachmann let out a shriek. "Help!" she screamed. "Help! I'm being held against my will!"

Arnold, who is just over 5 feet tall, was stunned, and hurried to open the door. Bachmann bolted out and fled, crying, to an SUV outside. Then she called the police, saying, according to the police report, that she was "absolutely terrified and has never been that terrorized before as she had no idea what those two women were going to do to her." The Washington County attorney, however, declined to press charges, writing in a memo, "It seems clear from the statements given by both women that they simply wanted to discuss certain issues further with Ms. Bachmann."

I thought the old "Help, I'm being kidnapped" trick was something five-year-olds tried when they were in the car for a really long time.  But the article goes further, exposing Bachmann's education by a teacher of dominion theology, i.e., the idea that Christians should be in charge of everything, while she was at Coburn School of Law at Oral Roberts University.*

At Coburn, Bachmann studied with John Eidsmoe, who she recently described as "one of the professors who had a great influence on me." Bachmann served as his research assistant on the 1987 book Christianity and the Constitution, which argued that the United States was founded as a Christian theocracy, and that it should become one again. "The church and the state have separate spheres of authority, but both derive authority from God," Eidsmoe wrote. "In that sense America, like [Old Testament] Israel, is a theocracy."

Eidsmoe, who hung up the phone when asked for an interview, is a contentious figure. Last year, he withdrew from speaking at a Wisconsin Tea Party rally after the Associated Press raised questions about his history of addresses to white-supremacist groups. In 2010, speaking at a rally celebrating Alabama's secession from the Union, he claimed that Jefferson Davis and John C. Calhoun understood the Constitution better than Abraham Lincoln.

Reading Eidsmoe, though, some of Bachmann's most widely ridiculed statements begin to make sense. Earlier this year, for example, she was mocked for saying that the Founding Fathers "worked tirelessly" to end slavery. But in books by Eidsmoe and others who approach history from what they call a Christian worldview, this is a truism. Despite his defense of the Confederacy, Eidsmoe also argues that even those founders who owned slaves opposed the institution and wanted it to disappear, and that it was only Christian for them to protect their slaves until it did. "It might be very difficult for a freed slave to make a living in that economy; under such circumstances setting slaves free was both inhumane and irresponsible," he wrote.

This is the kind of stuff Bachmann takes seriously.  Even better, there's the classic story of the homophobe whose anti-gay demagoguery strikes close to home with their own relatives.

In the statehouse, Bachmann made opposition to same-sex marriage her signature issue. Both she and her husband, by all accounts her most trusted political adviser, believe that homosexuality can be cured. Speaking to a Christian radio station about gay teenagers last year, Marcus, who treats gay people in his counseling practice, said, "Barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined, and just because someone feels this or thinks this, doesn't mean that we're supposed to go down that road."

In 2004, Bachmann gave a speech warning that same-sex marriage would lead to schoolchildren being indoctrinated into homosexuality. She wanted everyone to know, though, that she doesn't hate gay people. "Any of you who have members of your family in the lifestyle, we have a member of our family that is," she said. "This is not funny. It's a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think, to say that this is gay."

She was clearly talking about her 51-year-old stepsister, Helen LaFave, who had lived with her partner, Nia Wronski, for more than 15 years. As Bachmann became the public face of opposition to same-sex marriage, her relationship with her stepsiblings grew strained. "Helen always liked Michele, always," says Linda Cielinski, one of Bachmann's other stepsisters. "They lived together as teenage girls. They were very close at that time." Bachmann's anti-gay activism, Cielinski says, "was a hit to the gut."

But it's okay!  Bachmann polled her family to see if they agreed with her that her own stepsister is "part of Satan."

And so, in April 2006, when the Minnesota Senate judiciary committee met for a hearing on Bachmann's proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, Helen LaFave, Wronski, and several relatives including Cielinski were all in the gallery. "I wanted Michele to put a face to this whole thing," says Cielinski. "These were family members she was hurting." They didn't intend to talk to the press—LaFave has always shied away from media attention—but journalists quickly learned who they were and surrounded them. (LaFave declined an interview request, citing concern about the effect of the controversy on her 87-year-old father, who is still married to Bachmann's mother.)

The ensuing brouhaha further tore at the family. In a Star Tribune story headlined "Bachmann, stepsister hold opposing views," Bachmann claimed that she'd polled her siblings and stepsiblings, and that six of the nine agreed with her. Her stepbrother Mike LaFave was horrified. "The reality was she hadn't taken a family vote count, nor would my family ever do such a thing," he says. "I just find it terrible that when Michele was taken by surprise by a question she wasn't prepared for, the first thing she did was throw not only my sister but her whole family under the bus."

Exactly how inhuman do you have to be to take a poll of your own family to see if they agree with you that your own stepsister is evil?  This is what she means by "family values?"  Her values are depraved.  I always tell people that my family values are simple: I would walk through fire to help my family, especially my sister and my brother.  Michelle Bachmann went on the radio and called her own stepsister a "barbarian," and then justified it by saying she'd called a vote, and most of the family agreed with her.  What the hell is wrong with these people?

How dare she lecture anyone about her so-called family values?

*The fact that Oral Roberts has a law school ought to be a minor national disgrace.

Debate summary

Aaaaaand, go!

Obama is evil.  Tax cuts are the answer to everything.  We need to cut spending, but don't you dare ask for what specifically should be cut.  Holy crap, Obamacare is bad for deep and sinister reasons we won't bother to explain.  Attacking Libya was bad, but it's also bad that we're not attacking Libya more.  We would be better off if the American financial and automobile industries had been allowed to fail completely, even if that meant millions more unemployed.  Bailouts are bad, but huge tax breaks and subsidies for corporations are totally acceptable.  Obama is somehow in bed with both unions and big corporations. Gays are bad, Muslims are worse.

That's pretty much all you need to know.  My initial reaction: Meh.  Nothing substantive was said.  The personalities, at least, provided some interest.

Romney is still a flip-flopper, albeit more effective.  Apparently would have opposed invading Afghanistan back in 2001.  I bet.  He doesn't seem to grasp what effect huge bank failures and the death of GM would have had on the economy.  His distinction between Romneycare and Obamacare was absurdly thin.  But he does come off looking like the only serious candidate on stage.  His smirk while Pawlenty tried to squirm out of the "Obamneycare" line was classic, but he might want to watch it.  It was just that sort of thing that got Al Gore into trouble in the debates with George W. Bush.

Pawlenty either lacks the courage of his convictions or is a classic case of good man/lousy politician.  He's fine attacking Mitt Romney when Romney isn't standing next to him (like, for instance, on a Sunday morning talk show), but shrinks from that attack three times while on stage with Romney.  Was that an attack of conscience we saw on stage, or simply cowardice?  The first option is admirable in a person, but fatal in a politician.  The second is desirable in neither a person nor a politician.  Either way, no one will be impressed at him for backing off an attack 24 hours after starting it.  To quote Tony Blair, "Weak, weak, weak!"  Also, is it just me, or does everything he says come out awkwardly?  His voice, his sentence structure, the way he looked from the moderator to the camera to the crowd, it all conveyed a sense of nervousness and discomfort.  Perhaps it was because Romney was on stage, unlike in South Carolina?  If Republicans think Obama is too professorial, what must they think of Pawlenty?  And if he's gun-shy of attacking Romney, his campaign is over.  He can't out-Tea Party Bachmann.  His only path forward is to destroy Romney and then unify the party under his banner.  So far, that's not appearing likely.

Bachmann is aggressive, but still crazy.  Telling people to "take it to the bank" is a nice sound bite, but guaranteeing the repeal of the ACA is a pretty ludicrous statement.  There's this thing called a "filibuster" that she, being in the House rather than the Senate, apparently doesn't understand.  She's just launching her campaign, so she's still in the "all style and no substance" phase, and getting away with it.  No specifics at all, even compared to the rest of the group, which is saying something.

Santorum: Wackjob.  Good luck with that Federal Marriage Amendment, pal.  As my wife and I joked last night, "One, it doesn't have the votes.  Two, it still doesn't have the votes.  Three, it's a horrible idea to get the government in the business of defining marriage, not to mention discriminating.  Four, even if it weren't a horrible idea, it still doesn't have the votes."  My favorite Santorum complaint is that Google is biased against him.  Word of free advice, Rick: You might want to avoid saying the word "Google" at all costs.

Gingrich has given up.  It was written all over his face.  It's over and he knows it.  That "loyalty oath" crap was ludicrous, insane, bigoted, and he should be on his knees issuing retractions and apologies to anyone who will listen this morning.  But I'll settle for him dropping out of the race, which he inevitably will.

Herman Cain still hates Muslims, and is still a joke candidate.  I'm sorry, but there's a word for people who take his candidacy seriously: They're called "idiots."

Ron Paul has this unfortunate quality of having some very cogent, insightful things to say, but then immediately following them up with statements that can charitably be described as nuts.  Someone said in a review of his performance last night that "his act is wearing thin."  Yes it is.

In short, I think the two serious candidates on stage were Romney and Bachmann, who will garner the support of the "Stop Romney" crowd.  If Rick Perry decides to run, then Bachmann has a fight on her hands for that constituency.  That may be conventional wisdom, but in this case I think it's on the money.  No one else on that stage looked remotely serious as a contender for the presidency.  Naturally, I'd love to see Santorum or Cain win the nomination, because I think Obama would defeat them in a laugher, but that's not going to happen.

Gary Johnson and Jon Huntsman could threaten Romney, but they weren't on that stage.

I still want some debate moderator to ask this question: "You are all prating on about more and more tax cuts.  But taxes are at their lowest real percentage since the fifties, and we've just had a decade of huge tax cuts.  If tax cuts really are the solution, why wasn't the last decade the best in American history?"

A Request

Now the rumor mill has it that Rudy Giuliani is contemplating another run for the presidency.  All I can say, as a liberal blogger, is this: Please, Rudy.  Please run, and give me an excuse to post this video over and over again.

O'Donnell: Palin isn't running

In case you missed it, Lawrence O'Donnell made a pretty compelling case for why Sarah Palin, despite the "movie" and time spent in Iowa, is not running for president.  His best argument, that Roger Ailes actually did a good job finding out in advance who was running and suspending those who were (Gingrich and Santorum), while letting those who weren't running (Huckabee and Palin) stay on board.  I hadn't thought of that before, and it certainly makes good sense.  Say what you want about Roger Ailes, but he is no one's fool.

Here's the full video of O'Donnell explaining why Palin isn't running.

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Mitch Daniels not running

It seems like more and more prominent names in the GOP are deciding that they're not interested in running for President.  Daniels had a lot of potential among independents.  I'm certainly sympathetic, however, to the position that a presidential campaign would have a serious toll on Daniels' family.  Too few people appreciate, I think, just how exhausting and brutal our ultra-long modern campaigns get for the candidates, their families, and their staffs.  A lot of that, it needs to be said, is the fault of states consistently moving up primary dates to glean more headlines (Iowa and New Hampshire are especially notorious for this, perhaps because - call me crazy - there's pretty much nothing else newsworthy in either of those states).  How long can it be before the Iowa Caucus is the day after Inauguration Day, and we really do have a perpetual campaign?

And while we're on the subject of campaign 2012, Tim Pawlenty did a video for his run.  It's making the rounds on television, and I'm sure you can find it on the internet, but I don't feel like linking to it right now.  However, in it Pawlenty lists our national problems and then says, "President Obama doesn't have the courage to deal with these problems.  I do."  Part of me is hoping that, just for that little bit of attitude from T-Paw, President Obama orders the release of the bin Laden death photo with a post-it note attached reading, "Got your courage right here, Pawlenty."

Just saying.